With one swing of the bat, Kimmie Matlie blew my face off the map. It was a backyard baseball game run by our neighbor, Mr. Frieheit. I was the backcather. I was also five years old and smaller than most of the thugs on the team. Kimmie was up to bat, she was seven years old and far too big to be holding a wooden bat.
I saw stars. It's true, you really do see stars and that's probably because your eyeballs
are exploding from the force of the bat hitting your face. When I was older the story was re-told by my parents. Fireman Frieheit had apparently saved my life. I was bleeding out at home base. People had gathered around me, parents had come to pray over my limp body and I was just seeing stars. I also heard a voice far, far away telling me to 'hang in there'. That was it...I was OUT!
I woke up in a very white and loud room. Loud with lights. I heard voices of other children but mostly, I saw white. A boy named Tommy, came to me and told me I was in a hospital with a really bashed up face. I knew that part because all I could feel was a dull ache. Where were my friends? Where was my Mom, Mr. Frieheit? Was this kid heaven?
I saw tanks, plugs, tubes, many small beds, buttons and I could hear voices outside the door. I felt my face and then I screamed.
A nurse came in. Later I found out that she was Judy, my Chapstick Nurse. Judy was very pretty and held my hand. She told me my parents would be in very soon but not to touch my face. Perhaps part of it was gone? Nurse Judy pulled out some chapstick and applied it to my lips, "doesn't that feel better now?" It didn't but at least she made me feel important and she looked like one of my sister's blond Barbie Dolls that had come to life in a nurse uniform.
The days that followed were scary. I had a cast put on my face. It was heavy and itchy. I tried to pull it off to get to my nose, if I still had a nose but the Doctor was very annoyed with me for picking at the plaster. That's what he said, "Don't pick at the plaster Willy." But, I had to. I had to itch my nose. That's when the Doctor had the mean nurse put two long LEGO CYLINDERS on my arms. I looked like a toy robot. I cried a lot and only was calm when Nurse Judith Chapstick came in once a day to coat my dry lips.
My nose had been broken by the evil Kimmie Matlie.
She could be in jail for attempted murder but no-one was telling me. Only adults could visit me but I was unhappy and very tired of the white walls, sheets, uniforms but most of all the LEGO CONTAINERS PUT ON BOTH MY ARMS.
Night was the worst time. Tommy would come to keep me company when I cried. He told me hospitals 'sucked' and that some people came in dead. He told me I was lucky! Yeah, right Tommy...real lucky.
It felt like about a year later when I finally got out of that horrible prison called 'The Hospital' and went home but, first, I had to learn to breath through my mouth when I was sleeping. That's harder than trying to hit the middle of the toilet. I also had to stay away from kindergarten and I heard my Dad telling my mother that maybe my nose would never grow. I'd become an adult with a baby nose. I cried when I heard that. I'd be deformed and have no friends all because of Kimmie Matlie.
But, after a long time of drinking through a straw and raspy breathing the cast was removed and my face was no longer mine. I had a Chinese Face! I think I screamed in English about my Chinese Face. I had slanted eyes and my skin was like a badly bruised apple.
When I was alone I told my friends to come over and I threw all my stuffed animals out the window so they'd hang around and talk to me. Most of them said I looked gross and should keep that face for Halloween.
In time my face came back and my Chinese days were over. I never saw Nurse Judith Chapstick again and I never spoke to Kimmie Matlie. My nose did grow but I lost my interest in LEGO! I hailed Mr. Fireman Frieheit as my personal hero and savior. I told my parents that I never wanted to go to Hospital Prison EVER AGAIN.
My sister was afraid of clowns and now I was afraid of hospitals. We both had FOBIAS (that's what my older sister called it)...I had a FOBIA. I wondered if Nurse Judith Chapstick lived in that hospital and waxed lips all day long or if she was my 'own special nurse'. I decided she was my special nurse. I hope Tommy lived.
With one swing of the bat, Kimmie Matlie blew my face off the map. It was a backyard baseball game run by our neighbor, Mr. Frieheit. I was the backcather. I was also five years old and smaller than most of the thugs on the team. Kimmie was up to bat, she was seven years old and far too big to be holding a wooden bat.
I woke up in a very white and loud room. Loud with lights. I heard voices of other children but mostly, I saw white. A boy named Tommy, came to me and told me I was in a hospital with a really bashed up face. I knew that part because all I could feel was a dull ache. Where were my friends? Where was my Mom, Mr. Frieheit? Was this kid heaven?
I saw tanks, plugs, tubes, many small beds, buttons and I could hear voices outside the door. I felt my face and then I screamed.
A nurse came in. Later I found out that she was Judy, my Chapstick Nurse. Judy was very pretty and held my hand. She told me my parents would be in very soon but not to touch my face. Perhaps part of it was gone? Nurse Judy pulled out some chapstick and applied it to my lips, "doesn't that feel better now?" It didn't but at least she made me feel important and she looked like one of my sister's blond Barbie Dolls that had come to life in a nurse uniform.
The days that followed were scary. I had a cast put on my face. It was heavy and itchy. I tried to pull it off to get to my nose, if I still had a nose but the Doctor was very annoyed with me for picking at the plaster. That's what he said, "Don't pick at the plaster Willy." But, I had to. I had to itch my nose. That's when the Doctor had the mean nurse put two long LEGO CYLINDERS on my arms. I looked like a toy robot. I cried a lot and only was calm when Nurse Judith Chapstick came in once a day to coat my dry lips.
When I was alone I told my friends to come over and I threw all my stuffed animals out the window so they'd hang around and talk to me. Most of them said I looked gross and should keep that face for Halloween.
My sister was afraid of clowns and now I was afraid of hospitals. We both had FOBIAS (that's what my older sister called it)...I had a FOBIA. I wondered if Nurse Judith Chapstick lived in that hospital and waxed lips all day long or if she was my 'own special nurse'. I decided she was my special nurse. I hope Tommy lived.
Awwwwww what a cute story.... well you know what I mean, bloody and cute. Pee Wee Herman meets MASK! I wonder did every neighbourhood have a Kimmie Matlie? Gee I can even remember seeing someone get a bat in the mouth - hmmm I wonder, is there a special group of "BAT BASHED FACE SURVIVORS"???
ReplyDeleteWell, wait until the Hammy story hits the concrete! :) I think Kimmie leads the gals in Roller Derby. She's still making mush out of faces. Bitch!
ReplyDelete