Saint Elaine

My visits to the hospital continued last week. Some days Susan is a blank canvas, other days you pick up on a ray of hope. But, one person always seems to 'get' it. The 'Energizer Bunny'. Yes, Elaine, Susan's breathing coach and BFF, has suddenly become my escape person on the ward.

Elaine is also bi-polar but she's a wonder. She is flat out 'honest' about all that happens on the 5th floor. She watches people. It's not just the nurses and Psychiatrists who get diagnosed by Elaine, but it's the family members too. She has it all figured out. Elaine runs the 5th floor and don't think otherwise.

So, while Susan is sleeping, I take my usual chair at the 'let's talk table' and listen to the wisdom I now call, 'Elaine's Corner'. She, with her classic jewelry, her modern ways and zen personality, tells me about the carts. "Those blood-sucking carts need to be changed. Listen to them. It's seven a.m. and they want 'us', the ill entitled, to sleep through this?"

I could just sit and listen to Elaine for hours. She's a one-woman show. I also love her relationship with my sister. She adores Susan. She tells me that Susan is 'special' and needs to be held and loved. She's a fragile ceramic doll fighting her demons, but she will win! Yes, Elaine steps it up when it comes to nurturing my very sick sister. She has that 'energy' you could put in a pill and pop into your loved ones mouth. It's called: 'HOPE'.

Elaine is the Jack Nicholson of the ward. She has her 'it' man, Randy, who gets her a Tim Horton's coffee every morning. She hands out the meals, sets the tone for the day and makes it her goal to bring some joy back into my sister's life. How can you not love a leader, bi-polar or not, who is willing to embrace a total stranger and promise her, 'it's all going to work out'.

We tend to shy away from anyone on a ward who is labeled or 'sick'. I judged Elaine quickly when she first spent time with Susan. I felt she was intrusive. Perhaps that's my shield going up to protect the one I love. But, after observing 'the Energizer Bunny' talk to Susan, hold her hand, give her a hug and nurture her like she was one of her own daughters...I had to 'let it go'. I had to trust this woman to 'be there' for my sister when visitors were not around. She is a lifeline.

I felt connected to Elaine. When Susan was getting bathed or having blood tests, I would sit with her and listen to her 'amazing' stories. Were they true? I didn't know and I didn't care because she was full of personality and life. She generated more positive energy than a prescribed medication. I felt comfortable with her.

Then, like many surprises in life, I found out who Elaine 'really was'. Her adult daughters came for a regular visit. They were taking 'Mom' out for the day. I was happy that Elaine had a strong support system, children who loved her. I'm sure she is an amazing mother. But, one sister looked at me with uncertainty. Did she think I was a patient? Did she feel uncomfortable letting me through the locked doors before I announced myself? I was being watched.

Elaine had left the ward. I silently wished her a good day. As always I went up to the glass-enclosed nurses station to share my plans. "I will try to take Susan out today for a walk. I will be back before dinner. Do I need to take any medications? Who is her nurse today? How is she? Do you think she'll want to come out?" While I coughed up my monologue, a woman, one of Elaine's daughters, tapped my shoulder..."Will?..are you Will Walker?"

I just stared at her as my thoughts went back not one, not two but, three decades. "KELLEY?" Yes, it was Kelley Holgate...the only woman in my adult life I had had a relationship with. She was my partner in crime teaching children at Summer Camp Schools, she was my girlfriend at University..the girl 'every guy' wanted. She was Kelley the pitcher of the woman's softball league, Kelley the guitar playing singer, Kelley the woman who championed me to happy times. Yes, this was ELAINE'S OLDEST DAUGHTER

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She was shy. That's unlike her as she was always the center of attention. But, the way we were re-introduced into one anothers lives would be through our family members. I pointed to Susan's closed door and told Kelley that Susan is bi-polar. She points past the locked doors to tell me 'Elaine', her mother, is bi-polar. These two unlikely woman meeting on a Psychiatric Ward at the end of Winter. What were the chances?

We run into old mates, fellow relatives and co-workers in places we least expect to see them...but, on a Psyciatric Ward? I felt this wave of relief that someone I knew was experiencing the same weight of 'keeping the flames alive'. Kelley told me her mother was in for the fourth time but, I already knew this as 'Elaine' had told me many things about her life. She was a story-teller.

I hugged Kelley for a long time. I just wanted to go back to University and feel her glow. She was always upbeat and unpredictable. I now felt that 'Elaine's' presence was not just a fluke. She felt she knew me and , with a laugh, I reminded Kelley that 'her mother' always wanted us to get married. Her mother who is now my sister's keeper. It's bigger than the lottery, it's more than just 'chance'. Somehow I felt that Elaine was meant to be there for Susan and that I was meant to run into Kelley...the 'one woman' who made those few years in my life so exciting and so entertaining. We, afterall, were dubbed the 'Mickey and Minnie Mouse' of University. We had a reputation and it was one that many were envious of.

So, Kelley is off to Wales to watch her youngest twin get married. I leave my phone number and address so we can catch up. Who would have thought that so many years later, her mother who claimed to be my future mother-in-law would be bonding with my sister. Perhaps things do happen for a reason. Perhaps Elaine was always meant to be in my life. I told Kelley that her mother has been so kind to my sister. Kelley lit up, like she had always done years ago and said, "my mother is UNIQUE."

I felt like I was 20 years old again and we were on our first date. Who would have guessed it would be in the middle of a psychiatric ward with my sister on the left and her mother on the right. Curveballs.