NOTE: GRAFFITI HAS BEEN USED TO ENHANCE THE SIGN LANGUAGE OF THE DRIVER'S RIGHT HAND!
Living in a city we have more signs then citizens. Seriously, there are signs posted on nature walks, outside people's homes, at the beach, outside your favorite cafe and even on buoys out at sea. It's not the signs that bother me, it's 'how hard we try to get the message across' that bewilders me. ARE PEOPLE REALLY THAT STUPID, that blind, that ignorant? Sadly, the answer is yes.
!
STOP means 'stop', but we know people drive about 3 yards past the sign and sadly, this is where the roadkill begins. Don't feed the animals! Well, forget that sign. Do you know how many tourists unwrap their picnic lunches just to feed the bears, raccoons and coyotes. RABIES is not a word that registers with them, and the Parksboard even spells it out clearly in 3 languages with PICTURES
Ride bikes on one side, pedestrians on the other. Do you know how many human/bike collisions there are each year because someone didn't look up at the obvious and stay in their 'lane'. Over 1,463,284 reported injuries! Okay, I lied but I bet that's close! Sometimes I just sit at a park bench (unless a sign says 'NO LOITERING') and wait for a woman with a cane to be steamrolled by a roller-blader...eh, it's in the news daily!
And 'no fly zones' for birds? Yes, birds do understand that sign. They're intelligent, pay their taxes and will surely try not to be ticketed by a Heron in Blue with a badge. Count on it! Grrrrrrrrrrr.... so this is where my tax money goes? The biggest threat from that sign is that the birds will likely sh*t all over it before the end of the day.
We also have more obvious signs posted in parks: 'DO NOT LITTER (fine ensues)'. Now, my guess is that anyone who just doesn't care about the environment is not going to ADHERE to that sign unless there is a policeman standing two feet away. Butts are everywhere, cans are tossed in lakes and wrappers are not men beating out a song.... That's why we have VOLUNTEERS (or people on parole) with stick to stab the litter and bag it. No-one looks at that sign. You're either a clean person with a caring attitude or YOU DON'T GIVE A CRAP!
DO NOT USE A CELL PHONE is about the most non-threatening sign to anyone in the public. People would hand over their first born before handing over their cell phones and you know it. So, since that by-law began I've only seen 'just about anyone' with a cell phone driving and yapping. I glare at them at stop signs (the other disregarded sign) and that's pointless..because they're ENJOYING THE CALL or MAKING A DEAL WITH THEIR LAWYER!
I was driving through farmland and there was a sign that said 'BEWARE OF SLOW MOVING FARM VEHICLES'... I saw the cows in the field and the hay bales in the field..I think IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS THERE MAY BE A TRACTOR ON THIS LONG STRIP OF COUNTRY ROAD. And, note to self, "have not seen another car for the past hour!".
One that really gets me going is the picture of the dog taking it's daily dump with a red line through it. OKAY, tell your dog this. TELL YOUR DOG HE/SHE CAN'T POOP WHEN HE REALLY HAS TO GO. Seriously, I have seen people dragging their poor mutts down a sidewalk while they're cramped over, and ready to let it all out. Isn't this a form of animal cruelty? WOULD YOU like to be told, "sorry, you cannot go to the bathroom even though your bladder is bursting but, enjoy your walk!"
Children crossing in school zones = another no-brainer. If a person is a speeder, or has at least been to kindergarten, they KNOW YOU SLOW DOWN in a school zone...but, it's like the LITTER SIGNS...it's not going to happen unless the men in blue are right outside the school. Sad, but true.
I love the 'TURN OFF SIGNS' on the highways....the "NEXT FOUR EXITS BEFORE THE SO and SO BRIDGE"...20 yards later..."THE NEXT THREE EXITS BEFORE THAT BRIDGE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT BEFORE."...another 20 yards, "THE NEXT TWO EXITS BEFORE THAT TURN OFF, YOU KNOW THE ONE ABOUT THE BRIDGE YOU WANT TO GET ON."...another 20 yards..."THIS IS THE BRIDGE!!! THIS IS THE BRIDGE!!! TURN!!!" Well, it's almost that bizarre.
I would like to make my own signs and post them around the city:
1."DON'T TALK TO THE GUY IN THE COFFEE SHOP WEARING THE RED SHIRT EVERY DAY...HE'S A GANGSTER"
2. "DON'T ASK ME FOR MONEY, I JUST LOST MY JOB."
3. "FEEL FREE TO SMILE AND SAY GOOD-MORNING, IT'S FREE! NO FINES!"
4. "KEEP YOUR SKUNKS ON A LEASH"
5. "DON'T YELL AT YOUR WIFE AT 3:00 A.M.. IT KEEPS ME AWAKE!"
6. "PLEASE DO NOT RIDE YOUR BIKE ON THE SIDEWALK BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WALK ON IT."
and
7. PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME EVEN THOUGH YOUR BROKEN DOWN SIGN SAYS 'NO TRESPASSING' CUZ I'M ONLY TRYING TO TAKE A PICTURE!!.
...and that's my cue to SIGN OUT!
STOP means 'stop', but we know people drive about 3 yards past the sign and sadly, this is where the roadkill begins. Don't feed the animals! Well, forget that sign. Do you know how many tourists unwrap their picnic lunches just to feed the bears, raccoons and coyotes. RABIES is not a word that registers with them, and the Parksboard even spells it out clearly in 3 languages with PICTURES
Ride bikes on one side, pedestrians on the other. Do you know how many human/bike collisions there are each year because someone didn't look up at the obvious and stay in their 'lane'. Over 1,463,284 reported injuries! Okay, I lied but I bet that's close! Sometimes I just sit at a park bench (unless a sign says 'NO LOITERING') and wait for a woman with a cane to be steamrolled by a roller-blader...eh, it's in the news daily!
And 'no fly zones' for birds? Yes, birds do understand that sign. They're intelligent, pay their taxes and will surely try not to be ticketed by a Heron in Blue with a badge. Count on it! Grrrrrrrrrrr.... so this is where my tax money goes? The biggest threat from that sign is that the birds will likely sh*t all over it before the end of the day.
DO NOT USE A CELL PHONE is about the most non-threatening sign to anyone in the public. People would hand over their first born before handing over their cell phones and you know it. So, since that by-law began I've only seen 'just about anyone' with a cell phone driving and yapping. I glare at them at stop signs (the other disregarded sign) and that's pointless..because they're ENJOYING THE CALL or MAKING A DEAL WITH THEIR LAWYER!
I love the 'TURN OFF SIGNS' on the highways....the "NEXT FOUR EXITS BEFORE THE SO and SO BRIDGE"...20 yards later..."THE NEXT THREE EXITS BEFORE THAT BRIDGE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT BEFORE."...another 20 yards, "THE NEXT TWO EXITS BEFORE THAT TURN OFF, YOU KNOW THE ONE ABOUT THE BRIDGE YOU WANT TO GET ON."...another 20 yards..."THIS IS THE BRIDGE!!! THIS IS THE BRIDGE!!! TURN!!!" Well, it's almost that bizarre.
I would like to make my own signs and post them around the city:
and 
...and that's my cue to SIGN OUT!
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