Daylight in the Garden of Pets

When my mother planted the mini-garden we had as children, I didn't get it. I didn't like the plants; most looked like weeds and I wondered why we were not harvesting pumpkins and zucchini? Mostly it was a place where the neighborhood cats took a well-needed dump or my dogs lifted their legs. Not a pretty part of our homestead!

I did that whole, grow a sunflower thing. I also put toothpicks in avocado pits and tried to grow those. I failed at everything I touched. But, I did find a good use for the garden. I made it my burial ground for my deceased pets. I know, it sounds really morbid but, as a child, I thought it was 'very thoughtful' and I even had caskets and funeral services.

My first 'dead pet' was my hamster, Nibbles. He had choked on a roll of toilet paper and I felt really badly that I had put his cage in the bathroom. I guess he wanted to build the best nest ever for his 'soon-to-be' wife (who I never bought) and he choked on his love fest. I couldn't flush him down the toilet or toss him to the feral cats. What's a kid supposed to do?

So, I gathered the young orphans of my block to plan a big ceremony. I got Jimmy Cox to get an empty margarine container for the casket and Lucy Briggs to bring a bouquet of dandelions. It was all set to happen while my mother was at her weekly bridge game. We gathered ...I told everyone it would be okay to cry or even scream in great pain, after all... Nibbles had died for love.

The ceremony was MORE than I expected. Each person went up to the margarine container to pay their respects and I decided to be the Minister. I said some very cool things about Heaven and Nibbles running around with all the other dead pets and probably meeting his true love on a cloud etc... it was just 'touching' all over. I loved it when Lucy tossed the dandelions on the mini-plastic casket as I placed it in Mom's garden under one of the weeds. I offered to water the garden hoping she'd stay away from my new, sacred ground! Then, about a month later I heard my mother scream, "THERE'S A ROTTING RAT IN THE GARDEN!" Jeez....that's horrible..a rat! A RAT! I hate rats.. but, then I saw her shoveling and this dirty margarine container surface. She looked at the house with her lips buried deep in her face. I was so screwed. I lied but, that lasted all of two minutes.

Then, my rabbit died. Actually it was my sister's rabbit, Mr. Postman..named after our postman who we didn't know the real name of. I liked Mr. Postman but we fed him WAY TO MUCH lettuce and , well, he had the trots all the time. I think he just drained himself to death! So, we got some Tupperware and buried him further back in the garden. I didn't want another scene! PET CEMETERY. This time we dressed up in our Sunday School clothes for the service (in the back yard) and served lemonade because I heard that you should serve treats after a funeral- saw it on a T.V. show!

This time, it lasted. Mom didn't find that one. So, after a few months we had about 2 budgies, 3 more hamsters, a guinea pig and about 4 rabbits in the garden. I think we wiped out Mom's Tupperware set and she , to this day, is still unsure where all the containers went. I also noticed the garden was dying. Hmmm? So, when we sold the place I decided to pull out the pitchfork , shovel, and hoe to see if our pets were resting in peace. That was the worst thing I ever did! I made a promise to God that day, "I WILL NEVER USE TUPPERWARE AGAIN..and GOD, I THINK THE CEREMONIES WERE SO BEAUTIFUL, I'D LIKE A REALLY GOOD JOB IN HEAVEN! THANKS..WILLY!..OH, and my SISTER HELPED TOO..SO LET HER SERVE FOOD OR BE A HOSTESS..THANKS AGAIN, WILLY!! And, now, when I look at gardens I think of pets that have made children's lives better and, I think of Tupperware Women and how wrong they are about the many uses of Tupperware! Love Willy